Words Of Wisdom From T-Shirts

For the most part, T-shirts seem to have a lot to say.  They tell us where their owner went on vacation, what school he or she attended, what kind of car they drive, where they work, what organizations they belong to, what causes they support, and a multitude of other miscellaneous information.  Some are serious and others are just fun.  I've collected several interesting T-shirt sayings, including some from just a few weeks ago, and I'd like to share them with you.

Hand over the chocolate and no one will get hurt.

At what age am I old enough to know better?

When spelling, it's the letter I before E except after C…weird?

National Sarcasm Society…like we need your support.

Wine improves with age.  I improve with wine.

Everyone has to believe in something.  I believe I'll have another glass of wine.

I love to cook with wine.  Sometimes I even use it in the food.

Sarcasm.  Just one more service I provide.

If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research.

If I'm talking, you should be taking notes.

Why can't I be rich instead of good looking?

To err is human, to arrrrrgh is pirate.

Searching for the meaning of life, but will settle for my car keys.

Paddle faster, I hear banjo music!

I'm often confused with my evil twin.

Flying is the 2^nd greatest thrill known to man.  Landing is the 1^st.

I'd be a vegetarian if bacon grew on trees.

Awww, another Whiners Club meeting already?

Disheveled…not just a look, it's a lifestyle.

I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.

I'm confused…wait, maybe I'm not.

Where's the switch that turns you off?

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Deja Moo…the feeling you've heard this bullshit before.

Don't worry about what people think.  They don't do it very often.

Everything I say can be fully substantiated by my own opinion.

I am the Grammarian about whom your mother warned you.

Ending a sentence with a preposition?  That is something up with which I shall not put.

I'm always late.  My ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.

There.  Their.  They're not the same.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Old age comes at an inconvenient time.

Irony.  The opposite of wrinkly.

Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason I have trust issues.

I'm not weird, I'm a limited edition.

I have CDO—it's like OCD but with the letters in alphabetical order, as they should be.

Sometimes I need to put on my crown just to remind people who they're dealing with.

The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.  It was tense.

I talk to myself whenever I need expert advice.

And finally, seen on a Harley Davidson T-shirt:  You won't see a motorcycle parked in front of a psychiatrist's office.

Have any of you come across any fun or interesting T-shirt sayings you'd like to share?