The English Language—part 1 of 2

 

The English language (or at least the American branch of the language) is often confusing even to those who were born here.  I can't imagine trying to learn it as a second language.  Where other languages seem to have set rules, English has rules that are filled with exceptions and sometimes even those exceptions have exceptions.

A good example is the spelling rule for the order of i and e within a word. i before e is the rule. Except after c (exception to rule), or when sounded as a, as in weigh (exception to the exception).

We'll begin with a box and the plural is boxes, but the plural of ox is oxen, not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice, yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men, why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, and I give you a boot, should a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

One may be that and three would be those, yet hat in the plural would never be hose. And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother, we never say methren.

The masculine pronouns are he, his and him, but imagine the feminine as she, shis and shim.

Some reasons to be grateful if you grew up speaking English rather than learning it as a second (or even third) language. Imagine needing to figure out the differences in pronunciation and meaning of these identically spelled words:

1)         The bandage was wound around the wound.

2)         The farm was used to produce produce.

3)         The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4)         We must polish the Polish furniture.

5)         He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6)         The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7)         Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8)         At the army base, a bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9)         When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10)       I did not object to the object.

11)       The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12)       There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13)       They were too close to the door to close it.

14)       The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15)       The seamstress and the sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16)       To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17)       The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18)       After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.

19)       Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20)       I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21)       How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

22)       I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.

How many of you had to go back and read any of those 22 examples a second time to get it right?  :)

Let's face it—English is a crazy language.  There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.  English muffins weren't invented in England.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.  And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not just one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it, an odd or an end?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?  Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?  Have noses that run and feet that smell?  How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

If dad is pop, how come mom isn't mop?

Are you totally confused yet?  Check back next week when I continue with the eccentricities of the English language in part 2.

Middle Ages/Medieval Times part 3of3

This week is part 3 of my 3-part blog series about the Middle Ages/Medieval times. This period in history has many documented tales of truly barbaric treatment. But, unlike the message we get from Hollywood's entertainment industry and many novels, Medieval times overall weren't as barbaric as we've been led to believe. And with that thought in mind, here's a list of the ten biggest myths about justice in Medieval times.

10)  Go Directly To Jail?

Most Medieval communities actually had a judge and jury type of system, although it was much quicker than today's long drawn out sessions. Court generally lasted less than half an hour. At the judge's discretion, he could ask a few simple questions and deliver a verdict without consulting the jury.

9)  The Lawless Middle Age Villages?

Earlier Medieval communities had much more social responsibility than today.  If one member claimed to be wronged, every resident had to join in the hunt and persecution of the criminal, otherwise they would all be held responsible.

8)  Those Strict Church Types?

The pious Middle Ages were serious about religious offenses. Each town's church usually ran its own kind of court to investigate everything from bad attendance to heresy. However, the concept of sanctuary was also well known with the church as a place where criminals could avoid sentencing or punishment.

7)  Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind?

Criminals who committed lesser offenses were often subject to a policy of three strikes and you're out—literally. Repeat offenders were often simply banished from a city and not allowed back rather than killing them or having them clutter up the prisons. Humane and cost effective.

 6)  Executions: Left, Right, and Center?

According to Hollywood, Medieval evil-doers were killed on whim and often in public squares for even the slightest of offenses. In reality, capital punishment was used only in the most serious cases which included murder, treason, and arson with the guilty usually hanged.

 5)  Royal Highnesses High Above the Law?

Medieval nobles did enjoy certain privileges when it came to bending laws or making new ones to serve their purposes. However, most European countries had legislation preventing their kings and queens from running wild, such as England's Magna Carta signed by King John in 1215.

4)  Public Beheadings as Weekly Spectacle?

Beheading was swift and painless—as long as the axe was sharp. It was considered a privileged way to die and reserved primarily for the nobility. Treason was the crime of choice with the beheadings usually taking place inside castle walls rather than in public. Henry VIII had two of his wives beheaded—Catherine Howard and Anne Boleyn.

3)  The Burning Times?

A few witches, as proclaimed by their accusers, were burned at the stake during Medieval times. But it was during the following Reformation period (beginning approximately in 1550) that burning witches at the stake really took off. However, in England witches were rarely burned. They were hanged instead. At the Salem witch trials in the U.S., most of the accused who were actually put to death were hanged.

2)  Off With Your Ear?

Mutilation—severing of an ear or hand—was occasionally used as a punishment for serious crimes, especially in larger jurisdictions such as London. But more often, Medieval law enforcement used it as an empty threat rather than actually doing it. 

1)  Rack 'Em Up?

Immortalized in the film Braveheart, the most famous torture device of all time was the rack. It probably wasn't used in England until the very end of the Medieval period. It was used extensively along with other devices beginning in the torturous days of the 1500s when Queen Elizabeth I, and other European monarchs, began purging religious opponents.

So, next time you're watching a high budget film set during Medieval times filled with bloody and torturous actions, remember—there's a good chance it didn't really happen that way. 

Middle Ages/Medieval Times part 2of3

This is part 2 of my 3-part blog about the Middle Ages/Medieval times. Last week I presented 11 Bizarre Medieval Trends. This week it's 9 Surprising Facts.

1)  They weren't all knights or serfs or clergy

Although some medieval writers described their society as divided into three parts—those who prayed, those who fought, and those who labored. That became an increasingly inaccurate description after the beginning of the 12^th century. The population of Europe increased considerably during the 12^th and 13^th centuries, with cities and towns becoming much bigger. In the cities, people had all kinds of jobs—merchants, salesmen, carpenters, butchers, weavers, food sellers, architects, painters, jugglers…

In the countryside, everyone was not an impoverished serf (someone not free who was tied to the land). Many peasants were free men and women who owned their own land, while others who were to some degree not free bought and sold land and goods, much like other free men. There certainly were poor, oppressed serfs, but it wasn't a universal condition.

2)  People had the vote

Well, some people had the vote—not a vote for national, representative government. That was not a medieval thing. But they did have a vote in local politics. In France, in the 12^th and 13^th centuries and beyond, many towns and villages were run at a local level as a commune, and there were often annual elections where most of the male inhabitants could vote. Women could not usually stand as officials and could not vote, but some of them were noted in the agreed charters of liberties that French towns proudly possessed.

3)  The church didn't conduct witch hunts

The large-scale witch hunts and collective paranoid response to the stereotype of the evil witch is not a medieval creation. It was an early modern phenomenon found mostly in the 16^th and 17^th centuries. There were some witch trials in the Middle Ages, and these became more widespread in German-speaking lands in the 15^th century. But those doing the prosecuting were almost always civic authorities rather than the church.

For much of the Middle Ages, the main message that churchmen gave in regard to magic was that it was foolish nonsense that didn't work. The infamous Malleus Maleficarum in the late 15^th century was written to persuade people of the reality of witches. In fact, the book was initially condemned by the church, and even in the early 16^th century, inquisitors were warned not to believe everything that it said.

4)  They had a Renaissance and invented experimental science

When people talk about the Renaissance, they usually mean literature, art, architecture, and learning found at the end of the Middle Ages. This is usually taken to be one of the ways in which we moved from medieval to early modern thinking. But medieval intellectuals also had a renaissance of classical learning and rhetoric. This was in the 12^th century and depended particularly on the works by Aristotle and other classical authors. One of the outcomes was an inquiring approach to the physical world, and it led Roger Bacon and others to think about observing and experimenting with the physical world to learn more about it.

5)  They traveled and traded over very long distances

The majority of medieval people, particularly those who lived in the countryside, rarely traveled very far from where they were born. That would be the case with lots of people in much later ages as well. It is not the case, however, that medieval people never traveled. Many went on pilgrimage, sometimes journeying thousands of miles to do so. And those involved in trade certainly traveled, linking parts of the world together with merchandise.

6)  They had some great 'folk' customs

Much of the public culture of the Middle Ages was molded by Christianity. There were also some curious customs, usually tolerated by the church, but which may have had older roots. One was the practice of rolling burning barrels down a hill on Midsummer's Eve. Another was to throw wheat over the heads of a newly married couple. It was also common to raise money for charity by holding a 'help ale'—brewing up a batch of ale, having a big party to drink it, and collecting donations.

7)  Most great medieval authors didn't write

We tend to think of literacy as one thing, but in fact it combines various different skills with the physical act of writing being only one. For much of the Middle Ages, working as a scribe was seen as a kind of labor and was not something that important people like theologians and intellectuals would bother doing themselves. Instead, a scribe would usually write down what the author dictated.

8)  Some people weren't very religious

The Middle Ages famously features great examples of extreme religious devotion—mystics, saints, the flagellants, mass pilgrimage, etc.  But it would be wrong to assume that people were always very focused on God and religion and definitely wrong to think that medieval people were incapable of skeptical reflection.

There is solid evidence of some ordinary people who looked suspiciously at particular beliefs—at the miracles performed by saints, or the nature of the Eucharist, or what was said to happen after death. There is also ample evidence of people just not bothering very much with religion, most of all not going to church on Sunday.

9)  They didn't believe the world was flat

Columbus was not battling a society who believed the world was flat when trying to finance his voyage across the Atlantic to what he believed would be a route to China and Japan. It was a generally accepted belief that the world was round. Most people probably know this already, along with the fact that Viking helmets did not have horns. Both are bits of Victorian myth about the period. What makes studying medieval history fascinating is that you have to grapple with both the puzzle of extracting information from difficult and often fragmented surviving records, and the challenge of constantly checking your own thinking for assumptions that you might be inadvertently inserting into the information as fact.

Next week is part 3 of my 3-part blog series about the Middle Ages/Medieval times. In part 3, I'll be unraveling some of the wide spread commonly held myths about Medieval torture. 

Middle Ages-Medieval Times Part 1of3

This week is part 1 of a 3-part blog about the Middle Ages/Medieval times. It seems that every generation looks back at older generations and judges the customs, beliefs, and traditions of that time in history by comparing them to the present. Some comparisons are valid and some are not. However, I think it's fair to say that there are few periods in history that we regard as strangely as we do the Middle Ages—Medieval times.

The Middle Ages are generally considered an unlucky time to be born and today's popular belief is that people were poor, food was dull, everything was dirty, and for the vast majority of that historical period the people were dropping like flies. What we don't often hear about is that people created some of the most peculiar, bizarre, hilarious, and astounding trends in human history. Let's take a look at some of the peculiarities of the Middle Ages.

1. Animal court

Life in medieval times was just as tough for animals as it was for humans. Just like their human owners, all manner of animals from livestock to insects were put on trial if they were suspected of breaking the law. There are records of at least 85 animal trials that took place during the Middle Ages that range from tragic to absurd.

The most common offenders were pigs accused and convicted of chewing off body parts and even eating children. Most were found guilty and sentenced to death. And it wasn't just pigs that felt the wrath of the law. In 1474, a court found a rooster guilty of the unnatural crime of laying an egg, rats often found themselves on the receiving end of a strongly worded letter asking them to leave the premises, and in 1596 in Marseilles some dolphins were put on trial.

Surprisingly, not all of the trials ended in brutality. One donkey found herself the victim of unwanted sexual advances. She was proclaimed innocent after a strong recommendation from a convent's prior, declaring her to be a virtuous and well-behaved animal.

2. Fabulous men's fashion

Clothes were hugely important to the elite of medieval times. It was a way for them to display their wealth and overall superiority over the poor. Because of this, various unusual fashion trends swept through Europe, such as long, pointed shoes for men. The longer the shoes, the greater the wealth of the man and, therefore, his social rank. Some of the shoes were so long they had to be reinforced with whalebone. In the late 14^th century, men desired to show off their bodies by wearing revealing clothing such as very short tunics with tights.

3. Shotgun weddings

Much of what people assume about medieval upper-class marriage is true. It was rarely for love but merely for political and social gain. Women, as with almost all aspects of medieval life, had no say in the matter. Men and women were judged to be ready for marriage as soon as their bodies reached puberty, as young as 12 for girls and 14 for boys.

The marriage ceremony of the time was very different from today. There wasn't a formal ceremony. It took only a few moments to utter consent wherever they happened to be. This meant it became rather hard to prove people were actually married. In the 12^th century, it was declared a holy sacrament that must be observed by God. The consummation of the marriage, especially among upper-class newlyweds, was far from private. It was observed by witnesses.

4. Courtly love

Most upper-class medieval marriages were loveless unions designed for financial and social gains. Medieval nobles fulfilled their romantic desires in what was termed courtly love. This allowed lords and ladies to practice the elements of love regardless of their marital status. This involved the risqué actions of dancing, giggling, and even holding hands. Sex, however, was strictly forbidden—reserved for one's spouse only. Courtly love was so popular, a list of rules was written up including: "Marriage is no real excuse for not loving."

5. Divorce by combat

Couples in medieval Germany didn't waste time when it came to solving their disputes. Rather than just arguing like any normal couple, trial by single combat was a popular way to solve disagreements. When man and wife were fighting, there were bizarre restrictions such as the husband standing in a hole with a hand behind his back while his wife ran around with a sack filled with rocks.

6. Hairless faces

While today many women spend money to accentuate their eyelashes and eyebrows, it was completely different in the Middle Ages. Because the forehead was seen as the central point of their faces, women would remove their eyelashes and eyebrows in order to accentuate it. Some were so committed, they would pluck their hairlines to achieve a perfectly oval, bald face.

7. A beautiful death

People in the medieval times were very preoccupied with death, which is understandable if you consider how pious society was at the time, and also the fact that many people were falling victim to the Black Death. As a result, a trend known as ars moriendi or the art of dying, came into fashion. The idea revolved around dying a good Christian death. The death should be planned and peaceful. To add further stress, the dying person should accept their fate without despair, disbelief, impatience, pride, or avarice. Dying well was particularly popular with the priesthood, which led to many of the infamous medieval paintings of monks and holy men accepting their brutal murders with calm serenity.

8. Soccer without rules

If you thought professional sports hooligans were a modern phenomenon, you might want to reconsider that concept. Medieval England had sports-related mob violence before the sports were even named. What we regard today as soccer (or football outside the U.S.) was violent, chaotic, and occasionally deadly. It involved an infinite number of players, could take part across entire villages, and often it was the opposing team being kicked rather than the ball. In 1314, King Edward II decided enough was enough and forbid the game.

9. Unicorns and Jesus

Medieval people loved two things, mythology and religion. These often combined in a very peculiar way. Due to a mistranslation of what was likely intended to be an ox, people commonly believed that the Bible likened Jesus to a unicorn. People at the time went with this idea, and the unicorn repeatedly cropped up in religious medieval art.

10. Jesters

Being a jester in the Middle Ages may seem like a terrible fate. After all, their hats were modelled after the ears of an ass. But jesters were also granted unique privileges. As everything that came out of their mouths was by royal decree, words to be taken in jest, they could get away with slandering the lords and ladies of court. They could voice their political opinions in a time when doing so was strictly forbidden.

11. The Feast of Fools

Many people of medieval Europe joined together at the beginning of January to celebrate the Feast of Fools. Like most Christian festivals, this eclectic event was inspired by a pagan festival of Saturnalia. The highest respected officials swapped with the lowest, serving maids became masters and a king of misrule was crowned. Although originally intended to be confined only to the hallowed halls of churches, the common people took it upon themselves to celebrate. There were parades, comic performances, costumes, cross-dressing, bawdy songs, and drinking to excess.

Not entirely related but equally as difficult to comprehend, the Festival of the Ass presented a young girl carrying a child and riding a donkey into church. Throughout the service, the congregation replaced "amen" with a "hee-haw." Considering the celebration was held in super-strict Christian medieval Europe, it's impressive it survived for so long. However, over time the rules were tightened, certain acts forbidden, and the final nail in the coffin of fun came with the Protestant reformation.

And there you have it—a different look at the Middle Ages/Medieval Times. Check here next week for part 2 of my 3-part series for a look at some surprising facts about that time. 

NO BLOG THIS WEEK

There isn't a new Samantha Gentry blog for the week of Sunday, August 23-29, 2026.  I'll be back on Sunday, August 30, 2026. 

HAVE A NICE WEEK AND STAY COOL 

FOOTGOLF—WHAT IS IT?

I heard about this sport on the news one morning. Footgolf? What in the world is footgolf? I felt compelled to check it out.

As the name implies…it's golf played with the feet, a combination of golf and soccer. The definition I found said, "Footgolf is a precision sport where players kick a football [for those of us in the U.S. rather than Europe, football refers to soccer] into a cup in as few shots as possible. Its name is a combination of 'football [soccer]' and 'golf.' It is closely related to golf."

The object of the game is to play either a 9-hole course or an 18-hole course, kicking the ball into each hole in as few shots as possible and the person having the lowest score wins the game.

The origins of footgolf are unclear and have been attributed to several countries. The first 9-hole footgolf tournament played on a golf course as the sport is known today was organized in the Netherlands in 2009. The first Footgolf World Cup was held in Budapest, Hungary, in June 2012 with 8 countries participating—Argentina, Belgium, Greece, Hungary, Italy, Mexico, Netherlands, and the United States. About 80 players played 18-holes on the first day and another 18-holes on the second day.

Footgolf is a growing sport. With the advent of footgolf, some existing traditional golf courses have been converted to footgolf in addition to new footgolf courses being built. Without the need for all those expensive golf clubs, golf bags, and other associated paraphernalia, it's a more financially feasible sport. 

10 THINGS THAT USED TO BE LEGAL BUT AREN'T NOW

Laws evolve and change along with the changes in society, the passage of time, as technologies emerge, and attitudes change. Activities that were once very ordinary can become illegal or at least tightly regulated. Looking back at American history, it's surprising how many everyday practices were once permitted or loosely regulated.

10. Mailing Children Through The Postal Service

That's right! At one time it was legal to send a child through the mail after the parcel post service was created in 1913. The child needed to meet the postal rules and regulations (i.e. weight, size). The availability of this service ended quickly when the postal officials clarified that people were not mailable packages.

9. Buying Medicines Containing Cocaine

In the late 1800s and early 1900s, some tonics and over-the-counter medicines contained cocaine and could be purchased without a prescription. It was used for everything from toothaches to fatigue. The growing awareness of cocaine's dangers led to tighter regulation and eventual prohibition for consumer products.

8. Buying Medicines Containing Opium

Opium and morphine were also widely available without a prescription. They were used in cough syrups, pain relievers, and other soothing medicines marketed to both adults and children. Current modern drug laws tightly regulate these substances.

7. Children Working Full-Time In Factories

During the days of the Industrial Revolution, many children worked long hours in factories, mines, mills, and textile plants. Federal and state child labor laws expanded during the 20^th century, dramatically limiting the hours children could work and the kinds of work children are legally allowed to perform today.

6. Selling Miracle Cure Medicines Without Proof

Companies sold patent medicines for decades, claiming to cure dozens of illnesses. Many of these products contained alcohol, stimulates, narcotics, and ineffective ingredients. Manufacturers were generally not required to prove their claims. Consumer protection laws eventually introduced stricter labeling and safety standards.

5. Smoking Almost Anywhere

It wasn't that long ago that smoking was permitted in restaurants, airplanes, offices, shopping malls, hospitals, and many other indoor public places. Today, smoke-free laws have dramatically reduced where smoking is legally allowed, with specific restrictions varying by county and community.

4. Driving Without A Seat Belt

During the 1960s, seat belts became standard equipment in American cars, but wearing them wasn't immediately required. In the 1980s, states gradually adopted mandatory seat belt laws making something that was once optional a legal requirement in most of the country.

3. Dumping Industrial Waste Into Rivers

For much of America's history, factories discharged untreated waste directly into rivers and streams. Modern environmental laws, including the Clean Water Act, placed significant restrictions on industrial pollution and generally prohibit unauthorized discharges into waterways.

2. Label All Of The Package Content

There was a time when shoppers had very little, if any, information about what was inside packaged foods. Modern labeling laws now require ingredient lists, nutrition information, and allergy disclosures on most packaged foods, making grocery shopping far more transparent than it once was.

1. Advertising Cigarettes As Healthy

For much of the 20th century, cigarette advertising frequently featured doctors, athletes, and health-related claims. As scientific evidence linking smoking to serious disease became overwhelming, government imposed strict limits on tobacco advertising and prohibited false or misleading claims suggesting that cigarettes are safe or healthy.

Merlin—Mysterious Wizard

Best known and most recognized as part of King Author's legend, the earliest mentions of the character who eventually became wizard Merlin date back to the 6th century from old Welsh, a time when Britain was made up of small kingdoms.

In 573 when Cumbrian King Gwenddoleu was killed in battle, his warrior-bard went mad with grief. He ran into the forest where he became a wild man and made prophecies. His best friends were said to be an apple tree and a pig.

An 8th century monk wrote about an attempt to build a castle near Mount Snowdon. The tower kept collapsing. The king's magicians told him to sprinkle the site with the blood of a young boy born without a father. The boy escaped the sacrifice by explaining why the tower was collapsing—two dragons were fighting below the earth which undermined the castle's foundations.

In 1135 the Welsh poet, Geoffrey of Monmouth, wrote a book that took the wild man in the forest, the boy seer from the collapsing tower, and other folk characters and combined them all into the character who became the magician Merlin. He then included this wizard in his book, The History of the Kings of Britain and later The Life of Merlin which contained the first mention of Avalon.

Geoffrey's Merlin appears whenever something supernatural or strange happens. The story of the battling dragons is retold with the dragons representing the Saxons and the British. Merlin arranges a liaison between Uther Pendragon and the wife of the King of Cornwall which results in the birth of King Arthur.

Merlin's popularity fell by the wayside under Henry VIII when a priest was executed in 1535 for preaching from The Prophecies of Merlin. John Dee, magician to Queen Elizabeth I, was a fan of Merlin and started a new craze.

Legend says a witch duped Merlin into revealing his secrets then trapped him in mists. Some believe that Merlin's mists lie in a legendary forest in France, an ancient standing stone in Brittany marking his tomb. Others say his remains are with King Arthur in Avalon where the mighty wizard waits for the hour of Britain's greatest need when he will be returned to the service of the reigning monarch.

13 Things NOT To Put In The Microwave

Microwave ovens—you will find them in almost every residence whether house, condominium, apartment or college dorm room.  They are also in many places of business, both for use by employees only and for use by the public.  Those for consumer use come in various sizes and power from the small .7 cu. ft. 700 watt dorm room size to those large enough to hold a turkey with a power rating of 1250 watts or higher.  They can be counter top models, installed under a cupboard, or above/part of the stove.

The first microwave oven was invented after World War II from radar technology developed during the war. The Radarange, as it was called, was first sold in 1946 but was prohibitively large and much too expensive for all but the largest of commercial applications.  The home-use microwave oven was introduced in 1955, but was still too large and expensive for general home use. The practical countertop home-use microwave oven was introduced in 1967. For those of us 'older' folks, we quickly adapted to their use.  The younger among us grew up with them.

This list of 13 relates to specific dangers from trying to heat certain items in your microwave.  I imagine we've all learned the hard way (no pun intended) what happens when we try to microwave bread-type products rather than heating them some other way.  That one is not dangerous, but it dries out the bread and when the items start to cool they become too hard to eat. This problem is helped by wrapping the bread item in a damp paper towel.

1)  Aluminum Foil—we all know that one, it literally catches on fire.

2)  Stainless Steel—we all know not to put our metal pots and pans in the microwave.  That also includes our stainless steel travel coffee mugs.  In addition to possible harm to the microwave, the metal blocks the waves so it won't heat your cold coffee anyway.

3)  Plastic Storage Containers—these contain chemicals that could be toxic, or at the least alter the taste of the food you are reheating. Check the product label as some types of plastic containers can be microwaved.

4)  Chinese Take-Out Cartons—the metal handles on the carton are dangerous and the cartons themselves contain plastic.

5)  Styrofoam—this is plastic, but these days there are some Styrofoam products that can be put into the microwave.

6)  Raisins—these smoke when heated in a microwave.

7)  Grapes—if raisins are bad, it follows that the fruit that gives us raisins are also a microwave no-no.  The grapes will catch fire.

8)  Plastic Bags—the type retail stores use to bag your purchases in addition to the more heavy-duty storage type.  These are toxic and can catch fire.

9)  Brown Paper Bags—these are as dangerous in the microwave as the plastic bags the stores use.

10)  Eggs—if in the shell, they will explode.

11)  Dried Hot Peppers—chemicals are released.

12)  Sauce/Soup—without a lid, it will splatter all over the inside of the oven and create a messy cleanup.

13)  Nothing—to run an empty microwave can harm the appliance as there's nothing there containing water molecules for it to absorb.

Are You A Right-Brain Or Left-Brain Thinker?

The two sides of the human brain have distinct abilities unique to either the right side or left side.  An individual's strengths and weaknesses are often based on which side of the brain is dominant.  It's always been presented to me as left-brained being the logical, methodical, and pragmatic side and right-brained is the creative side.  There have been books written on this phenomenon.

At least that's the way I've always understood left vs. right brain.

The first thought is that writers must be right-brained since writing is a creative effort.  And many writers are also involved in other creative endeavors such as various forms of art and music.  But it seems to me that's only partly true.

As a writer, I certainly deal with my right brain creative side.  But as a writer, I also need my left brain methodical, logical, pragmatic side as part of my creative effort.  I would consider doing research as being methodical left-brained.  And then there's the switch over from right brain creative to left brain logical when writers go into edit mode, assuming you're writing to have your effort end up as a published novel. And that edit mode is necessary in order to take a creative effort and hone it into a marketable manuscript.  And the many facets of self-promotion for our books is certainly methodical and logical.

I recently came across a ten question quiz to test whether someone is a right brain thinker or a left brain thinker.  Not sure I agree with all the conclusions, but I found it interesting.

Are you ready?

1)  Are you better at math and science than art and literature?

If your answer is YES:  People who are left-brained thinkers (logic) are often better at math and science over art and literature.

If your answer is NO:  People who are right-brained thinkers (creative) are usually better at art and literature than math and science.

2)  Do you love playing sports outdoors over reading indoors?

If your answer is YES:  Right-brain thinkers (creative) enjoy the great outdoors and athletics.

If your answer is NO:  People who are left-brained (logic) usually prefer staying indoors and reading.

3)  Do you prefer verbal communication over physical communication?

If your answer is YES:  Left-brain thinkers (logic) love to work things out by talking.

If your answer is NO:  Right-brain thinkers (creative) believe actions speak louder than words.

4)  Would you rather draw pictures freehand instead of putting together a model airplane?

If your answer is YES:  Those who are right-brained (creative) are not fans of tremendous structure and prefer having some creativity at work.

If your answer is NO:  Those who are left-brained (logic) are in need of structure and prefer having specific guidelines at work.

5)  Do you like being in groups more than being alone? (this goes along with question #2)

If your answer is YES:  Group oriented people are usually right-brained (creative).

If your answer is NO:  Loners are usually left-brained (logic).

6)  When given instructions, are lots of pictures easier to understand than text?

If your answer is YES:  Right-brained (creative) people love picture explanations.

If your answer is NO:  Left-brained (logic) people much prefer text explanations.

7)  Have you noticed that you're better at providing the details and necessary information for a project than coming up with the initial idea?

If your answer is YES:  Left-brained (logic) are more into processing information and details than being involved in the creative process.

If your answer is NO:  Right-brained (creative) are more interested in the initial creative process rather than the information gathering.

8)  Do you need a quiet environment when you are working?

If your answer is YES:  Left-brain (logic) people usually need quiet environments.

If your answer is NO:  Right-brain (creative) people don't mind a bustling background as they work.

9)  Would you enjoy helping someone solve a relationship problem more than a math problem?

If your answer is YES:  Solving relationship problems is a natural for right-brain thinkers (creative).

If your answer is NO:  Solving math and technical problems is right up the alley of the left-brained (logic).

10)  If you were a writer, would you prefer to write non-fiction books instead of fiction?

If your answer is YES:  The left-brained (logic) are obsessed with details and truth.

If your answer is NO:  The right-brained (creative) are more imaginative.

I have a writer friend who claims that she's totally and completely right-brained creative. What she says might be true in that she has a terrible time getting into a self-editing mode and most of her writing projects are unfinished. She will have a first draft but can't seem to get it into a final mode where she can submit it to a publisher. 

Ten Unbreakable Guinness Records

The Guinness Book Of World Records was first published August 27, 1955 (the 2027 edition will be released/available August 25, 2026), and has compiled an incredible list of achievements in almost every category imaginable.

Over the years, the editors of the book have removed some categories because they chose not to encourage or promote certain activities such as bullfighting and excessive drinking.  They once published records for the world's heaviest dog but discontinued that because they didn't want to see a pet owner abusing an animal just so they could be listed in the book.

Some records remain on top even seventy-one years after the first edition was published.  Guinness has declared them to be 'unbreakable' but admits they might be broken some day.

Here's Guinness' list of ten unbreakable records.

1)  TALLEST MAN:  At 8' 11", Robert Wadlow holds the record for the tallest man.  When he died in 1940 at the age of twenty-two, he was still growing.

2)  LIGHTEST WOMAN:  Lucia Zarate was 21.5" tall and at the time of her death at age twenty-six in 1889, she weighed a mere 4.7 pounds.

3)  LOUDEST SOUND:  The volcanic eruption of the island of Krakatoa on August 26, 1883, sent shock waves reverberating seven times around the globe and were heard 2,200 miles away in Perth, Australia.

4)  MOST PROLIFIC MURDERESS:  Hungarian Countess Elizabeth Bathory allegedly killed more than six hundred people, mostly young woman, in the late 1500s/early 1600s.  She was finally convicted of 80 counts of murder and locked away until her death in 1614.

5)  LARGEST DIAMOND:  Found in South Africa in 1905, the Cullinan diamond was 3,106 carats.  It was eventually cut into 105 pieces including the 530.2 carat Great Star of Africa and the 317.4 carat Lesser Star of Africa.  Both are now part of the British crown jewels.

6)  GREATEST WINGSPAN:  Howard Hughes' Spruce Goose weighs more than 40,000 pounds with a wingspan of 319 feet which is longer than a football field.  It flew only once, in 1947, for about one mile at just seventy feet in the air.

7)  BIGGEST PANDEMIC:  From 1347 to 1351, bubonic plague, also known as the Black Death, killed seventy-five million people.

8)  BIGGEST BLOCKBUSTER:  When adjusted for inflation and converted into today's dollars, Gone With The Wind is by far the champ with an estimated take of $5.4 Billion since its 1939 release.  In comparison, Titanic's worldwide blockbuster box office Gross is $1.84 Billion.

9)  LONGEST POLE-SITTING:  Guinness' oldest record is held by St. Simeon the Stylite who spent thirty-seven years atop a pillar at Syria's Hill of Wonders.  He died in 459 and for the last 1,550 years his record remains unchallenged.

10)  YOUNGEST DOCTORATE:  In 1814, 12 year old Karl Witte of Austria became a doctor of philosophy at the University of Giessen in Germany.  He spoke five languages.

And as a grand finale … Ashrita Furman holds the world's record for holding the most records – he has 245 world's records.

Historical Events That Never Happened pt 3of3

This is the final week of my 3-part blog presenting some of the misinformation about historical events through the ages.

27.  The First Thanksgiving

Contrary to popular belief, the name Thanksgiving wasn’t coined during colonial times but later in 1863, with Abraham Lincoln hoping to inspire people to be more thankful. Furthermore, while Thanksgiving is often associated with a meal involving turkey, there isn’t any evidence that turkey was a staple dish, but instead were animals such as geese, swan, and venison.

There wasn’t any cranberry sauce or potatoes, either. Potatoes weren’t consumed in Massachusetts at the time, and nobody had yet discovered how to boil cranberries with sugar.

28.  Ferdinand Magellan Was The First Person To Sail Around The World

Ferdinand Magellan is credited in the history books as being the first person to circumnavigate the globe. Yet, that isn’t entirely true, although he did come close. In 1519, Magellan set out to complete this task to lead his crew across the Atlantic, through South America, and over the Pacific Ocean.

Unfortunately, for Magellan, he was killed in the Philippines by a group of natives. So, when his ship returned to Spain in 1522, completing the circumnavigation, he wasn’t alive to complete the journey. Incredibly, only 18 of the crew of 260 made it back, so it was these men that were first to accomplish this daunting task.

29.  Albert Einstein Failed Math As A Child

As it turns out, the story of Albert Einstein failing math as a young student is nothing more than a lesson that just because you’re not good at something at first doesn’t mean you won’t ever be. Nevertheless, according to the Washington Post, the rumors that he was a lousy student in his youth have been blown out of proportion over the years.

Supposedly, he was incredibly intelligent for his age. Yet, he did fail one thing in his youth, which was the entrance exam to Zurich Polytechnic, which he supposedly failed because of the French portion, a language he hardly studied.

30.  The Wild West Was A Rough And Tough Place

Throughout history and even pop culture, the U.S. Wild West is depicted as a rough place where no one really wants to live. It was portrayed as being filled with outlaws, gunslingers, and lots of saloons, Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, and many other actors had a knack for making the west look very dangerous. However, that’s not actually the case.

As it turns out, the Wild West in the 1800s was a very peaceful area, with residents more interested in their cattle and mining rather than dueling with someone who looks at them wrong. While death and murder were inevitable, only 0.1 percent of people in the Wild West were killed per year.

31.  Medieval Games Were Dangerous

One way to bring knights together in medieval Europe was through war games. While these games were thought to be dangerous and sometimes deadly, that wasn’t necessarily true. Games are thought to have included competitions such as sword fighting and even jousting. In reality, they were nothing more than family-friendly sporting events.

Some of the popular games included horseshoes, bowling, and even tennis, nothing that would hurt one of the participants. City and village authorities were even known to shut down an event if they thought it was too dangerous for the men involved.

32.  Betty Crocker Is A Real Person And Makes Delicious Desserts

Betty Crocker and desserts go hand in hand, especially when you’re baking, and her name is right there on the box. It feels as though she is helping you along with the ingredients. The only issue is, history never told us that Betty Crocker wasn’t a real person.

Created by Marjorie Husted for a Washburn Crosby Company campaign, the name was chosen because it sounded wholesome and, for lack of a better term, grandmotherly. Of course, from there, Betty became an icon, appearing in various mediums across pop culture. Apparently, the exposure doesn’t make her a real person!

33.  Everything About The Trojan War

From stories to pop culture, there is a lot on the Trojan War. But one aspect of the event tends to slip people’s minds—it is based on Greek mythology and not historical fact. From generation to generation, the stories surrounding the war were verbally passed down and embellished to the point of turning into fiction.

Historians agree that due to the verbal communication, the Trojan War, as we know it today, is pretty much the ramblings of people who wanted to tell a good story. From the infamous Trojan Horse to the 1,186 ships that entered Troy, most of the rich details are ground in fiction. However, that does not negate the facts that the ruins of Troy were discovered and excavated as an archeological dig proving that Troy was a real place.

34.  The Brontosaurus Was A Living Dinosaur

Since the Flintstones had a pet Brontosaurus, it means they’re real, right? Wrong! Well, sort of. The first discovery of Brontosaurus bones made by paleontologist O.C. Marsh wound up being an error. During a time known as “The Bone Wars,” Marsh wanted to gain the upper hand on his competition, Edward Drinker Cope.

In doing so, Marsh wound up misidentifying a bone, saying that it was from a Brontosaurus, a creature that hadn’t been discovered yet. In reality, the bone was from an Apatosaurus. Thankfully, in 2015, researchers decided that there was enough evidence to warrant a separate classification of dinosaur, the Brontosaurus, and Apatosaurus.

35.  The Use Of Iron Maidens

In medieval times, there were various instruments used for torture. One of these devices was the Iron Maiden, an iron chamber designed in the shape of a woman with spikes on the inside of its hinged doors. While museums seem to think the chamber was commonplace in medieval times, that’s not necessarily true.

Even though the Iron Maiden is supposedly a medieval tool, the first mention of it wasn’t until 1790, when German philosopher Johann Philipp Siebenkees noted it in one of his journals. And even though he said a criminal was put inside one of the torture chambers 200 years earlier, historians haven't found any proof of this and believe his tale is a bit fabricated.

36.  George Washington Had Wooden Teeth

In grade school, many books and lessons revolve around George Washington including the alleged facts such as his wooden teeth. It’s a widely known fact in the United States! While the former president did have dental issues for most of his life, none of Washington’s dentures were made of wood.

Various materials were used to mold Washington’s teeth, including various types of metal and even animal bone, but his “orthodontist” never used wood for a mold. There is a pair of Washington’s dentures still available for public viewing at George Washington’s Mount Vernon. These, in particular, are made of human, cow, donkey, and horse teeth—but no wood.

37.  Chastity Belts For Wives And Daughters

In Medieval Europe, one device that husbands and fathers used on their wives and daughters to protect them was something called a chastity belt. These devices were to stop any unwanted advances, as they were pretty much metal undergarments that couldn’t be opened without a key. It sounds like a bad joke, right? Well, that’s actually what a chastity belt was.

In the 16th century Europe, chastity belts were nothing more than a cheap laugh for people. On the few in their possession, the British Museum has said, “[they] were made in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries as curiosities for the prurient, or as jokes for the tasteless.”

38.  King Arthur Won Against An Invasion Of Anglo-Saxons

There are many books, myths, and even television shows and movies illustrating the bravery of King Arthur and his knights of the round table. History has told us that the man known as Arthur was the beloved king of Camelot, heroically defeating an advance of Anglo-Saxons during the 5th or 6th century.

While the battle has been written about in books, historians believe the inclusion wasn't added until 100 years later. That means the story of King Arthur is wildly embellished, with many historians believing the King of Camelot never existed, since his name isn’t mentioned in ancient texts between A.D. 400 and A.D. 800. However, there are scholars who believe the legend may have been inspired by one or more real figures from 5th- or 6th-century Sub-Roman Britain.

39.  Dr. Seuss Said The Quote “Those Who Mind Don’t Matter, And Those Who Matter Don’t Mind”

Children’s book author and exceptional linguist Dr. Seuss is credited with many rhymes and lyrical phrases. One that he's often credited with is, “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” And while the phrase sounds like something out of All The Places You’ll Go, Dr. Suess didn’t write it.

The quote was actually said by someone else entirely, American financier Bernard Baruch. He was discussing the importance of authenticity while facing down public scrutiny. The concept is certainly not something that is outwardly said in any of the Dr. Seuss books researchers have come across. 

Historical Events that never happened pt 2of3

This week is part 2 of my 3-part series about some of the inaccuracies of history that have been perpetuated over the years as facts, things we learned in school that didn't happen that way.

14.  Mama Cass Sandwich

Best known as one of the lead singers of the 1960s pop music group The Mamas & the Papas. Following the band’s breakup, Cass Elliot went on to release five solo albums as well as appear on a number of television programs. Cass passed away on July 29, 1974, at the age of 33.

There were countless rumors circulating about the cause of her death. These ranged from a substance overdose, that she was assassinated by the FBI, and so on. However, one of the most popular theories is that she died from choking on a ham sandwich. In reality, she had died from a heart attack related to her intense weight fluctuations over the years.

15.  Thomas Edison Invented The Light Bulb

While most people believe Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, it turns out he had more help than most people know. Edison may have invented the first motion picture camera and tinfoil phonograph, but he did not outright invent the light bulb.

British chemist Joseph Swan was the one to actually create the first light bulb, but it burned out too quickly. Edison solved the problem by coming up with the idea to replace the carbonized paper filament with a thinner filament, which Swan then used to create the first light bulb viable enough to be put into daily use.

16.  300 Spartans Fought Back The Persian Army

One of the most classic legends of Ancient Greece is about the Spartan leader Leonidas and his 300 soldiers who fought the much larger Persian forces at the Battle of Thermopylae in 480 BC.

Nevertheless, the story that the Spartans only had 300 men is a bit of an embellishment, when they actually had around 4,000 other soldiers from the surrounding Greek city-states. On top of that, it’s also assumed there were at least 1,500 men who stayed to fight in the last stand, not the mere 300 that legend proclaimed.

17.  Bankers Jumping From Buildings After The 1929 Stock Market Crash

On October 24, 1929, the United States stock market crashed in the event that would go on to be called Black Thursday. This was the beginning of the Great Depression, and it was believed after the crash had been announced that stockbrokers on Wall Street began taking their own lives by jumping from the buildings.

However, this wasn’t the case. No one took his own life by jumping off a building. In fact, suicide rates didn’t increase at all.

18.  Betsy Ross Sewed The First American Flag

While it’s rumored that Betsy Ross was the first person to sew the American flag, this is likely no more than a myth. Although there’s no doubt that Ross sewed a few flags in her days, the claim that she sewed the very first one came from her grandson, who decided to tell the exaggeration to the Historical Society of Pennsylvania almost 100 years later.

However, there is zero evidence that Ross sewed the first flag during the Revolutionary War, as there’s no mention of her in newspaper reports, historical letters, or any kind of writing. It’s also possible Ross’ grandson only made this claim to popularize his family name.

19.  George Washington And The Cherry Tree

The story of George Washington and the cherry tree says that Washington received a hatchet from his father when he was a boy. He then proceeded to chop down a cherry tree, and when his father asked him what happened, he said something along the lines of I cannot tell a lie.

This story never happened but was made up in 1806 by author Mason Locke Weems, who wrote a book about Washington that showed the first president of the United States was a man of virtue. An interesting side note shows that Washington, the man of could not tell a lie, was the creator of our first spy ring (The Culper Spy Ring) coming into existence during the Revolutionary War, at a time when the future United States was still a British colony.

20.  The Forbidden Fruit In The Bible Was An Apple

Most people have either read or heard about the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, in which they are banished for eating the Forbidden Fruit, the one thing they weren’t allowed to touch.

Interestingly, in popular culture, the fruit is almost always shown as being an apple. However, early rabbis would argue that the fruit was most likely a fig. This is because the Bible mentions Adam and Eve sewing together clothes with fig leaves. And, the myth that the forbidden fruit was an apple is further admonished by the fact that the Garden of Eden was the wrong climate for growing apples.

22.  Ben Franklin Wanted The Turkey To Be The National Bird

There’s a story that Benjamin Franklin wanted the turkey to be the national bird of the United States rather than the bald eagle. Actually, he didn’t have any reservations about the bald eagle being the national bird, as he explains in a letter to his daughter.

He simply mentioned that the eagle looked like a turkey on the seal. In the letter to his daughter, he would also write that the bald eagle had bad morals as evidenced by the fact they stole from other birds and the turkey is vain, although this is most likely just a joke. But a more pertinent observation noted that the turkey was native to North America and the eagle also lived in Europe.

23.  Ulysses S. Grant Wouldn’t Accept Robert E. Lee’s Sword When He Surrendered

One of the most well-known stories of the Civil War is when Robert E. Lee surrendered to Ulysses S. Grant at Appomattox Courthouse, Virginia, on April 9, 1865. The tale goes that when Lee surrendered to Grant, the Union general refused to accept Lee’s sword of surrender.

Grant claimed in 1885 that the story had been embellished. It was not a snub or rebuke. He regarded Lee with the utmost respect. He was just happy the war was over and they had won.

24.  The Existence Of Saint Christopher

Saint Christopher is the patron saint of travelers, athletes, mariners, ferrymen, and more. He is an incredibly popular saint with many believers wearing the Saint Christopher talisman. However, the saint may have never even existed.

According to the LA Times, many scholars have believed for some time that he wasn’t real. And even if he was, it’s likely that all the stories about him are nothing more than myths. It’s also possible that he may have been just another regular person to be murdered for being a Christian.

25.  How The British Defeated The Spanish Armada

While the Spanish Armada was defeated by the British Empire in 1588, they didn’t succeed using clever tactics and an overwhelming amount of firepower. In reality, it came down to them having favorable conditions.

Out of the 129 ships in the Spanish Armada, the British only destroyed six of them. They could have defeated more, but they didn’t have enough gunpowder. However, they were lucky because 50 other British ships showed up just in time. Bad weather, including fast currents, created issues for the Spanish attributing to their defeat.

26.  The Casualties At The Alamo

While many people might have an idea of what happened at the Alamo, it was basically misinformation acquired from movies. For the most part, the movies were not intended to be historically correct documentaries. Their purpose was to present an exciting story to entertain their audience. Many of the supposed facts were exaggerated. Some stories claim that only a handful of people survived when it was more like at least 20.

Furthermore, it wasn’t just women and children either. Some of the fighting men were spared as well. The notion that 600 Mexicans died during the battle is also untrue as it was more like 60. A man named William Zuber made up most of these stories, which is ironic because he wasn’t even there.

Next week is part 3 of my 3-part blog series about Historical Events That Never Happened.

Historical Events That Never Happened part 1of3

Over the years, we've learned many things about history, primarily in school. But how much of what we learned is actually true and how much is exaggeration, embellishment, or actual untruths that have come down through the years and changed along the way?

This is part 1 of a 3-part blog series showing those inaccuracies in our knowledge of history.

1.  Paul Revere’s Midnight Ride

The tale of Paul Revere riding through the Massachusetts countryside warning American colonists that the British were coming has its origins from an 1860 poem (85 years after the actual event) by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. His poem wasn’t a historical piece on Paul Revere. It was actually a topical warning about America breaking apart shortly before the Civil War. According to historians, Wadsworth simplified the actual events of the night of April 18, 1775, in rhyming form.

In truth, Paul Revere didn’t receive the lantern signals—he sent them. He wasn’t a solo rider, he started out with William Dawes and along the way met up with Samuel Prescott, another member of their group. It has been suggested (as a moment of humor) that he chose Paul Revere as the object of his poem because more words rhymed with Revere. Prescott was the only one to actually reach Concord. Revere was captured and Dawes managed to escape. And Revere didn’t ride around shouting that the British were coming. He went to the homes of members of their group to quietly warn them. If he had been shouting in the streets while riding through town, the many local residents who were British loyalists would have captured him and turned him over to the British troops.

Not part of Paul Revere's midnight ride--a 16 year old girl named Sybil Ludington rode 40 miles through the night on April 26, 1777, to warn local militia troops that the British were burning Danbury, Connecticut.

2.  Rats Weren’t The Main Culprit Of The Black Death

Although it's a commonly accepted theory, recent studies have shown that rats, along with the mites and fleas they carried, may not have been the only thing to blame for the devastating plague that killed almost one-third of Europe’s population in the 14th century. At the University of Oslo, scientists conducted an experiment to determine  the potential sources for the pandemic.

They discovered the parasites carrying the disease more likely came from humans rather than rats. Their model demonstrates that the disease spread by human fleas and lice matched the death rates for the Black Death more so than their model regarding parasite-carrying rats.

3.  Christopher Columbus Discovered America

Most children in the United States are taught that “in 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue” crossing the Atlantic Ocean with his ships the Niña, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria with hopes of reaching Asia and proving a quicker ocean route to Japan and China than the long slow over land route. As with a majority of Europe's population, he believed the world was round. However, he wasn't aware of the huge land mass separating two huge oceans between Europe and Asia.

However, Columbus certainly wasn’t the first person to “discover” America. People from Asia had been sailing east across the Pacific Ocean for many years prior to Columbus' first voyage west across the Atlantic Ocean. People and animals had been crossing what was then the Berring land bridge before geologic time turned it into the Berring Straight. He wasn’t even the first European to land in the Western Hemisphere. He made several trips across the Atlantic but only made it to the Caribbean islands and never actually stepped foot on the North American continent. In fact, the Viking Leif Erikson is believed to have landed and established a settlement in North America (an area that is now Canada) almost 500 years before Columbus first attempt to sail west in search of an ocean route to Japan and China.

4.  Ben Franklin Discovered Electricity

The story of Ben Franklin attaching a key to a kite during a lightning storm and declaring that he had discovered electricity wasn’t exactly what it seems. Franklin didn’t discover electricity. Scientists were well aware of electricity before Franklin’s 1752 kite and key experiment.

What Franklin actually set out to do was prove that lightning was electricity. In fact, he may not have even flown the kite himself. In 1752, Franklin wrote in the Pennsylvania Gazette that he performed the experiment, but never specified that it was him flying the kite. There has been speculation that his son had flown the kite.

5.  Martin Luther Nailing His “95 Theses” To The Church Door

The iconic story of Martin Luther nailing his list of issues with the Catholic Church to the doors of a church is commonly regarded as the spark that fueled the flame for the Protestant Revolution and creating the Protestant branch of Christianity. While Luther’s 95 Theses were real, it didn’t exactly play out like that.

There is no historical evidence that proves Luther actually nailed his list to the doors of a church, a story that didn’t surface until nearly thirty years after the fact. However, what is known is that Luther mailed his “95 Theses” to the archbishop and never intended to start an issue with the church, considering he was a devoted Catholic.

6.  Nero “Fiddled” While Rome Burned

Although the first-century Roman emperor isn’t entirely innocent of the devastating fires that engulfed Rome, he certainly wasn’t doing anything about it. To Start, Nero wasn’t even in the city when the fires began. He was in Antium, approximately thirty miles outside of the city. Although he may have considered himself an artist, the expression that Nero was literally playing the fiddle while Rome burned is completely false.

There were no fiddles in Rome at the time, and he certainly wasn’t playing an instrument while watching the city burn. The phrase “fiddled” while Rome burned is an expression regarding a leader that does little during a time of crisis rather than one actually playing a violin and ignoring the danger during a time of crisis.

7.  Isaac Newton And The Apple

The tall tale of mathematician Isaac Newton coming up with the concept of gravity after an apple fell on his head is an exaggeration of what happened. The story of the apple didn’t come about until it was published in a biography of Newton written by his friend William Stukeley in 1752.

The text reads, “the notion of gravitation came into his mind…occasion’d by the fall of an apple, as he sat in a contemplative mood.” Historians believe that Newton may have seen an apple fall from a tree, but it’s unlikely that it fell on his head.

8.  Witch Burnings At The Salem Witch Trials

Although the Salem Witch trials are often synonymous with “witch burnings,” that isn’t the case. Not a single person accused of being a witch in 17th century Salem, Massachusetts, ever met their fate by burning at the stake.

Of the 20 accused Salem witches, 19 of them were hanged while the final one, the only man, was crushed by rocks. The idea that witches were to be burned most likely comes from a witch hysteria that took place in Europe between the 15th and 18th centuries. In England, suspected witches were hanged with that method also being used in the Colonies. In France, they were burned alive at the stake.

9.  “Let Them Eat Cake”

Although it makes a good story, the French queen Marie Antoinette remarking “let them eat cake,” regarding her impoverished subjects who could not afford to buy bread never happened. Accounts of royals suggesting that the poor eat delicacies they can’t afford dates long before Marie Antoinette’s rule.

The quote “Qu’ils mangent de la brioche” or “let them eat cake” first appeared in a 1767 autobiographical account by philosopher Jean-Jacques Rosseau. He attributes the quote to a “great princess,” when Antoinette was only just a young girl at the time, so it was most likely not her.

10.  Van Gogh Never Cut Off His Ear

Many people know Vincent Van Gogh as the tortured artist who cut off his ear and sent it to his lover. While this is partially true, what happened is that he only severed the bottom part of his ear lobe. He suffered from severe depression at the time.

Some historians believe that cutting off part of his ear was the result of a dispute with fellow artist Paul Gaugin. No matter what pushed him to do it, he certainly didn’t cut off his entire ear. Yet another theory says his ear was cut off by someone else during a fight.

11.  Lady Godiva’s Naked Ride

The story goes that Lady Godiva, the wife of Leofric, the lord of Coventry, England, had sympathy for her husband’s subjects that were being ruthlessly taxed. So, Leofric proclaimed that he would lower taxes if his wife rode naked through the town.

However, the real story is based on a real woman named Godifu, who was the wife of Leofric, who led an unremarkable life other than being married to an important man. It’s believed the legend came about as a way to explain the generous historical acts on the part of Leofric.

12.  Romulus Founding Rome

When it comes to the naming of Rome, most people would assume this came from a man named Romulus along with his twin brother Remus. Legend says both Romulus and Remus were raised by a wolf that nursed them as babies and that their father was the god, Mars.

Nevertheless, regarding the existence of Romulus and Remus, historian Theodore Mommsen told The New York Times that the legend was “out of the question.” It simply was impossible that either of these two boys existed during the time, and they definitely weren’t raised by wolves.

13.  Beware The Ides Of March

William Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar gives a decent example of what the final moments in Caesar’s life might have been, and there were a lot of dramatics involved.

For instance, some of the most classic lines associated with Caesar were never actually spoken such as “Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears,” “let slip the dogs of war,” and of course, “Et Tu, Brute?” Yet, it’s unlikely that any such words were muttered during the chaos that was his assassination.

Next week, check back here for part 2 of my 3-part blog series of Historical Events That Never Happened.