Ten Secrets You CAN Keep From Your Mate

Last week I blogged about five secrets you should NOT keep from your mate. This week it's the opposite side of the coin—ten secrets you CAN keep from your mate.

You usually think of keeping secrets from your mate as things that can come back to bite you in the ass, so to speak. Today's headlines about people in the spotlight and their no longer secret activities certainly attest to that. But like most rules, there are exceptions. Here's a list I read recently of ten secrets that might be best kept to yourself rather than shared with your mate.

1) The sacrifices you've made: This includes things like skipping dinner with friends to attend your mate's office party. Or, to take a page from O. Henry's The Gift Of The Magi, selling one of your possessions so you can afford to buy something special for your mate as a birthday present. Don't spoil your good deed by acting like a martyr and making sure your mate knows of your sacrifice. It should come from your heart, not from your ego.

2) Your partner makes the bed wrong: Or maybe it's the dishwasher that's loaded wrong, or washing the cars, or trimming the bushes. Whatever it is, unless you want to do all those chores by yourself, be thankful your mate willingly shares the load.

3) You hate the gift: Especially if it's some sort of a clothing item that's not your style. Instead of exchanging it like you want to, give it a try…wear it to work or to a function you're attending. You might be surprised at the compliments you receive and your mate will be pleased to see you using the gift. And keep in mind that if you complain it could be the end of the surprise gifts! :)

4) You can't stand your mate's mother/best friend/favorite sweatshirt: Tread lightly, especially if it's a new relationship. If you issue an ultimatum, you might find that you are the one left out in the cold all by yourself.

5) How often you get hit on: Telling your loved one about every incident where someone has tried to hit on you will only make him or her jealous and could lead to low self-esteem. As long as you're not returning the advances, keep it to yourself. Again, there's no purpose in boosting your ego at your mate's expense.

6) Your clothes are uncomfortable: He gives her his jacket because she's cold, but now he's cold. She's wearing new high heels and her feet hurt. The collar of his dress shirt is starched too heavily and it's rubbing against his neck. Don't ruin the evening by complaining about being uncomfortable. Sometimes it's best to suffer in silence.

7) The details of your romantic history: You can go through a rundown of exes, but keep those sordid details to yourself.

8) You're bored: There are times when you will be dragged to your mate's favorite activity, find yourself watching TV shows you don't like, or going to movies that aren't your taste. But you do it—you suffer in silence—because you love your mate. If the relationship is healthy, your mate will return the favor and suffer in silence while doing something you enjoy. And who knows, you might both find a new activity that you can enjoy together.

9) I told you so: You can think those words all day, but resist the urge to say them out loud. There will be a situation where you are wrong and you don't want your mate throwing it in your face.

10) You're thinking about sex: Chances are, so is your mate. Stop thinking about it and make the first move!

Do any of you have secrets you think are better kept to yourself rather than bringing them out into the open?


Summer vacation time is almost here. My blogs the next few weeks will deal with vacation and travel topics. Come back and check out the weird tours that will make you scratch your head, how to figure out if a tour is right for you, the quirky questions tourists ask, great American train trips, and the obstacles incurred when flying.

Five Secrets You Should NEVER Keep From Your Mate

We all have secrets, some bigger than others. Some more important than others. Even in the healthiest of relationships, there can be secrets. These are usually the little white lie type of secrets such as not being as enamored of his favorite sport as you've led him to believe.

According to a recent news article I read, some secrets you keep from your mate and some should never be withheld. What secrets should never be kept?

1) Addictions: This is information your mate needs to know, whether your addiction is shopping, alcohol, drugs, or even one that has certainly been in the headlines lately—sex addiction. Your mate can help you deal with whatever your addiction might be which is certainly better than you sneaking around and hiding things.

2) Unhappy Workplace: Use your common sense on this one. Little misunderstandings with a co-worker don't need to be brought home and turned into something they aren't. But if you have a boss or co-worker who continually tries to force his attentions on you (sexual harassment), sabotages your work efforts, or otherwise makes your work life impossible, it's a sign you need to talk to someone. If there's someone at work you trust, talk to them. But almost make it a point of talking to your mate so he or she won't be blindsided when you've finally had all you can take and explode.

3) An Undermining In-Law: In-laws traditionally and notoriously get a bad rap. But there are some in-laws who intentionally undermine your self-confidence and purposely set out to hurt your relationship. Your mate needs to know what's going on. Talk to him or her about what's been happening before it gets out of hand to the point where the relationship is permanently damaged. If your mate is more concerned with his or her relative than with you, better to know it earlier than later so that an informed decision can be make about the true viability of the relationship.

4) How His Or Her Treatment Makes You Feel: Don't whine to your mate about every little mistake. However, those small mistreatments can build up over time and if you never say anything your mate will never realize you've been hurt by certain things he or she says or does. Instead of fixating on specific individual things, talk to your mate about patterns of behavior that bother you and come to an agreement about what is and isn't appropriate for your relationship.

5) A Past Marriage/Engagement/Serious Relationship: It's difficult to keep a prior marriage a secret, but it has been done. The reality, however, is that it shouldn't be kept a secret. There's no need to go into long drawn out detail about what was good and what was bad in the previous marriage. And it's definitely a bad idea to continually bring up your past marriage, especially if you're making a comparison between what might have been good with the previous marriage and problems you're having with your current mate. But you do want to be honest with your current mate so that something from the past doesn't sneak up and kill your new relationship.

Do you think it's okay to keep some secrets from your mate or should there be no secrets at all?

What's In Your Junk Drawer?

It's spring and that means many good things—shiny new leaves on the trees, colorful spring flowers, sunny days that don't include below freezing temperatures at night. Unfortunately, it also means seasonal chores—putting away the winter coats and clothes, getting out the summer clothes, switching over from furnace to air conditioning, rounding up the garden hoses and sprinklers, and finally the inevitable once a year chore of spring cleaning.

And speaking of spring cleaning, shouldn't that include straightening out and organizing that famous catch-all known as the junk drawer? Don't deny that you have one. Everyone does and it's usually in the kitchen. What are some of the common items kept in a junk drawer?  The following items were on a list a saw a couple of days ago.  Some of these items are in my junk drawer and some aren't.  Actually, I have two junk drawers.  One is for miscellaneous kitchen gadgets that are definitely not organized.  The other is for those items that truly fit the description of a junk drawer.

1) Scissors: These are a must in a junk drawer. They don't need to be an expensive pair, but they do need to be there.

2) Paper clips and safety pins: When something needs fastening, it's a nuisance to rummage through your office for a paper clip and sift through sewing supplies to find what you need. It's very convenient to have a few of these items handy in the kitchen.

3) Pens and pencils: Another must for the junk drawer. Everyone always needs one in the kitchen. This is where a lot of the free give-away promotional pens end up.

4) Bandages: Just in case you cut yourself while chopping veggies.

5) Gum: Always a nice surprise to find a stick of gum or piece of candy.

6) Rubber bands: While they're essential to a junk drawer, they often end up running amok. You need to put them in something so they won't get tangled with everything and with each other.

7) Bag clips: If you have the kind with magnets on them, then you probably keep them on the freezer or refrigerator. But if they don't have magnets, you'll most likely keep them in the junk drawer.

8) Batteries: Many people keep batteries in their refrigerator, but it has been debated whether or not this actually extends battery life. I keep mine in my junk drawer, mostly AA and AAA batteries since they are the most used.

9) Mini tools: It's good to have a few tools handy such as mini screwdrivers and a hex key for those quick emergency fixes that don't require dragging out the big tool box.

10) Emery board/nail file: It's nice to have one handy to smooth those little snags that happen while working in the kitchen.

There are drawer organizers made for the specific purpose of putting that junk drawer in some kind of order. I've given up on them and have returned to the basic disorganized junk drawer.

What kind of stuff do you keep in your junk drawer?

April Fool's Day—Where Did It Come From?

The first of April—April Fool's Day or All Fools' Day as it is also known. A holiday that has been celebrated for centuries. But what in the world could possibly be the origins of a day dedicated to pranks and practical jokes?

Those exact origins remain a bit of a mystery, the most widely accepted theory says it dates back to 1582 when France switched from the Julian calendar where the new year began on April 1 to the Gregorian calendar where the new year began on January 1 as called for in 1563 by the Council of Trent. People who didn't get the word that the start of the year had moved or refused to accept the change and continued to celebrate it during the last week of March through April 1 became the object of jokes and hoaxes. Paper fish would be placed on their back and they were referred to as "poisson d'avri" which means April fish. It symbolized a young, easily caught fish and a gullible person.

There's also speculation that April Fool's Day was tied to the vernal equinox (first day of spring) in the Northern Hemisphere, a time when Mother Nature fooled people with changing and unpredictable weather.

The celebration spread throughout Britain during the 18th century. In Scotland it became a two day event in which people were sent on phony errands and had fake tails or "kick me" signs pinned to their rear ends.

In modern times people have gone to great lengths to stage elaborate pranks. Here's the top ten hoaxes from a list of the best one hundred pranks of all time as judged by notoriety, creativity, and number of people duped.

#1) The Swiss Spaghetti Harvest (1957): The respected BBC news show Panorama announced that thanks to a very mild winter and the virtual elimination of the dreaded spaghetti weevil, Swiss farmers were enjoying a bumper spaghetti crop.

#2) Sidd Finch (1985): Sports Illustrated published a story about a new rookie pitcher who planed to play for the Mets. His name was Sidd Finch, and he could reportedly throw a baseball at 168 mph with pinpoint accuracy. But Sidd Finch had never played the game before. He mastered the "art of the pitch" in a Tibetan monastery. This legendary player was the creation of the article's author, George Plimpton.

#3) Instant Color TV (1962): At the time there was only one television channel is Sweden, and it broadcast in black and white. The station's technical expert, Kjell Stensson, appeared on the news to announce that, thanks to a new technology, viewers could convert their existing sets to display color reception. All they had to do was pull a nylon stocking over their television screen.

#4) The Taco Liberty Bell (1996): The Taco Bell Corporation announced it had purchased the Liberty Bell and was renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell. Hundreds of outraged citizens called the National Historic Park in Philadelphia to express their anger.

#5) San Serriffe (1977): British newspaper The Guardian published a special seven-page supplement devoted to San Serriffe, a small republic consisting of semi-colon shaped islands located in the Indian Ocean. It described the geography and culture of this obscure nation. Its two main islands were named Upper Caisse and Lower Caisse. Its leader was General Pica. Only a few readers noticed that everything about the islands was named after printer's terminology.

#6) Nixon for President (1992): National Public Radio's Talk of the Nation program announced that Richard Nixon, in a surprise move, was running for President again. His campaign slogan was, "I didn't do anything wrong, and I won't do it again." Listeners flooded the show with calls expressing shock and outrage. Nixon's voice was impersonated by comedian Rich Little.

#7) Alabama Changes the Value of Pi (1998): The April 1998 issue of the New Mexicans for Science and Reason newsletter contained an article claiming that the Alabama state legislature had voted to change the value of the mathematical constant pi from 3.14159 to the 'Biblical value' of 3.0. The article soon made its way onto the internet, then rapidly spread around the world. The Alabama legislature began receiving hundreds of calls from people protesting the legislation. The original article was intended as a parody of legislative attempts to circumscribe the teaching of evolution and had been written by a physicist.

#8) The Left-Handed Whopper (1998): Burger King published a full page ad in USA Today announcing the introduction on their menu of a "Left-Handed Whopper" for the 32 million left-handed Americans. The ingredients were the same as the original Whopper, but the ad claimed all the condiments were rotated 180 degrees for the benefit of their left-handed customers. Thousands of customers requested the new sandwich.

#9) Hotheaded Naked Ice Borers (1995): Discover Magazine reported that a highly respected wildlife biologist found a new species in Antarctica—the hotheaded naked ice borer. The creatures had bony plates on their heads. When fed by numerous blood vessels, they could become burning hot thus allowing the animals to bore through ice at high speeds. They used this ability to hunt penguins, melting the ice beneath the penguins and causing them to sink downwards where the hotheads consumed them. It was theorized that the hotheads might have been responsible for the mysterious disappearance of noted Antarctic explorer Philippe Poisson in 1837. To the hotheads, the explorer looked like a penguin.

#10) Planetary Alignment Decreases Gravity (1976): British astronomer Patrick Moore announced on BBC Radio 2 that at 9:47AM a once-in-a-lifetime astronomical event was going to occur and listeners could experience it in their own homes. Pluto would pass behind Jupiter, temporarily causing a gravitational alignment that would counteract and lessen the Earth's own gravity. Moore told his listeners that if they jumped in the air at the exact moment the planetary alignment occurred they would experience a strange floating sensation. When 9:47AM arrived, BBC2 began to receive hundreds of phone calls from listeners claiming to have felt the sensation. One woman reported she and her eleven friends had floated around the room.

Tell me about your favorite April Fool's Day prank.

Vernal Equinox--It's Officially Spring...

...but this is the sight that greeted me when I looked out my office window the morning of the spring equinox.  A fresh overnight snowfall that continued through the day.

Equinox translates literally to "equal night."

On March 20, 2010, at precisely 1:32pm Eastern Daylight Time the sun crossed directly over the Earth's equator. That moment is known as the vernal equinox in the Northern Hemisphere announcing the arrival of spring and the autumnal equinox in the Southern Hemisphere announcing the arrival of fall. A second equinox will occur on September 22, 2010, at 11:09pm Eastern Daylight Time.

The fact that the Earth has distinctive seasons is due to the 23.4 degree tilt of the Earth's axis. The Earth receives more sunlight (longer daylight hours) in the summer and less sunlight (fewer daylight hours) in the winter. The tilt of the axis makes the seasons opposite in the Northern and Southern Hemisphere. At the north pole summer gives six months of daylight while at the same time the south pole is experiencing six months of darkness. The closer you are to the equator, the daily hours of daylight and darkness become more equal.

The fall and spring equinoxes are the only two times during the year when the sun rises due east and sets due west. Modern astronomy aside, people have recognized the astronomical connection to the season changes for thousands of years. The ancients of various civilizations all over the world built structures that illustrate this—temples dedicated to their various gods that modern man recognize as observatories. Not only the spring and fall equinox days, but also the summer and winter solstice days.

I think it's also interesting to note a connection between the spring equinox and Groundhog Day (a holiday derived from the practices and celebrations of the ancients). If the groundhog sees his shadow on February 2, we have six more weeks of winter. And by "coincidence" that six weeks takes us to within a few days of the spring equinox.

St. Patrick's Day—a word or two about symbols, traditions, green beer, and Irish coffee

March 17—St. Patrick's religious feast day and the anniversary of his death in the fifth century. A date that falls during the Christian season of Lent. The Irish have observed this date as a religious holiday for over a thousand years. Irish families would traditionally attend church in the morning and celebrate in the afternoon.

The first St. Patrick's Day parade took place in the U.S., not in Ireland. Irish soldiers serving in the English military marched through New York City on March 17, 1762, (when we were still a British colony). In 1848, several New York Irish aid societies united their parades to form one New York City St. Patrick's Day Parade. Today, that parade is the world's oldest civilian parade and the largest in the United States with over 150,000 participants.

Today, St. Patrick's Day is celebrated by people of all backgrounds in the United States, Canada, and Australia. Although North America is home to the largest celebrations, it has been celebrated in other locations far from Ireland, including Japan, Singapore, and Russia.

In modern day Ireland, St. Patrick's Day has traditionally been a religious occasion. Until the 1970s, Irish laws mandated pubs be closed on March 17. In 1995, the Irish government began a national campaign to use St. Patrick's Day as an opportunity to promote tourism.

Symbols and Traditions

The shamrock was a sacred plant in ancient Ireland, symbolizing the rebirth of spring. By the seventeenth century, it became a symbol of emerging Irish nationalism.

Music is often associated with St. Patrick's Day and Irish culture in general. Since the ancient days of the Celts, music has always been an important part of Irish life. The Celts had an oral culture where religion, legend, and history were passed from one generation to the next through stories and songs.

Banishing snakes from Ireland has been associated with St. Patrick. A long held belief says St. Patrick once stood on a hilltop and with only a wooden staff managed to drive all the snakes from Ireland. The fact is the island nation of Ireland has never had snakes.

Every year on St. Patrick's Day the traditional meal of corned beef and cabbage is consumed. Cabbage has long been an Irish food, but corned beef only began to be associated with St. Patrick's Day at the turn of the century, about 1900.

Belief in leprechauns probably comes from Celtic belief in fairies, tiny men and women who could use their magical powers to serve good or evil. Leprechauns are only minor figures in Celtic folklore, cantankerous little men known for their trickery which they often used to protect their fabled treasure. The cheerful, friendly image of the leprechaun is a purely American invention created by Walt Disney in his 1959 movie, Darby O'Gill and the Little People.

There are four places in the United States named Shamrock—Mount Gay-Shamrock, West Virginia, and Shamrock, Texas, are the most populous. The other two are Shamrock Lakes, Indiana, and Shamrock, Oklahoma.

There are over 36 million U.S. residents who claim Irish ancestry. This number is almost nine times the population of Ireland.

Green beer, certainly associated with St. Patrick's Day here in the United States, is NOT an Irish creation. Purists claim that Arthur Guinness would turn over in his grave if anyone attempted to add green food coloring to the traditional Irish brew. Green beer is most likely of American origins.

And Irish coffee? The forerunner of today's Irish coffee was said to have originated at Foynes' port (the precursor to Shannon International Airport on the west coast of Ireland near the town of Limerick) one miserable winter night in the 1940s. Joseph Sheridan added some whiskey to the coffee to warm the arriving American passengers, proclaiming it to be Irish coffee.

A travel writer named Stanton Delaplane brought Irish coffee to the U.S. after drinking it at Shannon Airport. He worked with the Buena Vista Café in San Francisco to develop the perfect drink. The Buena Vista Cafe started serving Irish coffee on November 10, 1952, and continues to serve large quantities of it to this day starting from the time they open in the morning for breakfast until they close at night.

So, here's to everyone celebrating on March 17 whether Irish or not. Enjoy your corned beef and cabbage, green beer, and Irish coffee.  And may the luck of the Irish be with you.

They Keep Their Oscars Where?

Tonight (Sunday, March 7) is the Academy Awards ceremony where the Academy Of Motion Picture Arts And Sciences hands out Oscars to the winners in a multitude of categories including Best Picture, Best Actor and Actress and Best Supporting Actor and Actress. But once the hoopla of the night dies down and dawn brings the next day, where do the winners keep the coveted statuette?

Russell Crowe (Best Actor 2001—Gladiator) keeps his at his Australian ranch in the chicken coop where he says it inspires the chickens to lay larger eggs.

Timothy Hutton (Best supporting Actor 1981—Ordinary People) keeps his in his refrigerator. His sister put it there as a joke and it's still there.

Jack Nicholson (Best Actor 1998—As Good As It Gets, Best Actor 1976—One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Best Supporting Actor 1984—Terms Of Endearment) is rumored to use one of this three Oscars as a hat stand.

Goldie Hawn (Best Supporting Actress 1970—Cactus Flower) says her Oscar lives in her Meditation Room

Dustin Hoffman (Best Actor 1980—Kramer vs. Kramer, Best Actor 1989—Rain Man) says he used to keep them out of sight, but now they're on his mantel in his study.

Cate Blanchett (Best Supporting Actress 2005—The Aviator) used to keep it on her grand piano but has recently moved it to her study.

Mira Sorvino (Best Supporting Actress 1996—Mighty Aphrodite) keeps her Oscar on her dresser in her bedroom along with some childhood memories.

Liza Minnelli (Best Actress 1972—Cabaret) keeps hers next to the one her father, Vincente Minnelli, earned as Best Director in 1958 for Gigi.

Catherine Zeta-Jones (Best Supporting Actress 2003—Chicago) keeps her Oscar in her house in Bermuda because not many Oscars have lived there.

Jodie Foster (Best Actress 1989—The Accused, Best Actress 1992—The Silence Of The Lambs) says she used to keep them in the bathroom because they looked good with the faucets, but when they began to corrode on the bottom she moved them to a trophy case in the den.

Emma Thompson (Best Actress 1994—Howard's End, Best Adapted Screenplay 1996—Sense And Sensibility) keeps her Oscars in the bathroom. "They're great big, gold, shiny things. They're up there tarnishing quietly along with everything else I own, including my body."

Elizabeth Taylor, Susan Sarandon, Lionel Richie, and Sean Connery are also rumored to keep their Oscars in their bathrooms.

Gwyneth Paltrow (Best Actress 1999—Shakespeare In Love) keeps her Oscar in storage. "I don’t want that thing in my house. It scares me."

Tilda Swinton (Best Supporting Actress 2008—Michael Clayton) gave her Oscar to her agent as she promised in her acceptance speech.

Jamie Foxx (Best Actor 2004—Ray) gave his to his manager.

Angelina Jolie (Best Supporting Actress 2000—Girl, Interrupted) gave it to her mother.

Jimmy Stewart (Best Actor 1941—The Philadelphia Story) sent his Oscar to his father in Pennsylvania who displayed it in the window of the family's hardware store for twenty-five years.

Shelley Winters (Best Supporting Actress 1960—the Diary Of Anne Frank) donated her Oscar to the Anne Frank Museum in Amsterdam. She kept her second one for 1965's A Patch Of Blue.

Olympia Dukakis (Best supporting Actress 1988—Moonstruck) had her Oscar stolen two days after she won it. It was the only thing taken by thieves who broke into her house.

Hattie McDaniel (Best Supporting Actress 1940—Gone With The Wind) willed her Oscar to Howard University in Washington, D.C. It disappeared during the campus riots in the 1960s.

And as for the new Oscar recipients—the envelope, please…