Sunday, January 27, 2013

Things NOT To Say At A Job Interview

With the current status of the economy and so many people being out of work, going on job interviews is a timely subject.  We all know that job interviews are cause for varying degrees of nervous tension.  We're uncomfortable, very concerned about making a good impression both personally and with our resum√© and work history.  Saying the wrong thing…misspeaking…is upper in our mind.

All of this discomfort is part of the process.  But, there are those who go beyond the bounds of mere jittery nerves.  The following responses to these standard questions actually happened during the course of job interviews.

Q:  Why did you leave your last job?
A:  "I have a problem with authority."

Q:  Why should we hire you?
A:  "I would be a great asset to the events team because I party all the time."

Q:  Do you have any questions?
A:  "Cross dressing isn't a problem, is it?"

Q:  Why are you leaving your current job?
A:  "I was fired from my last job because they were forcing me to attend anger management classes."

Q:  Why do you want to work for us?
A:  "My old boss didn't like me, so one day I just left and never came back.  And here I am!"

Q:  What are your weaknesses? [related to job skills]
A:  "I get angry easily and I went to jail for domestic violence.  But I won't get mad at you."

Q:  When have you demonstrated leadership skills?
A:  "Well my best example would be in the world of online video gaming.  I pretty much run the show.  It takes a lot to do that."

Q:  Is there anything else I should know about you?
A:  "You should probably know I mud wrestle on the weekends."

Q:  When can you start?
A:  "I need to check with my mom on that one."

Q:  Have you submitted your two weeks' notice to your current employer?
A:  "What is two weeks' notice?  I've never quit a job before.  I've always been fired."

The following are random responses and comments made by job seekers at interviews.

"If I get an offer, how long do I have before I need to take the drug test?"

"When you do background checks on candidates, do things like public drunkenness arrests come up?"

"May I have a cup of coffee?  I think I may still be a little drunk from last night."

And finally…
[During a telephone call to schedule the interview]  "Can we meet next month?  I am currently incarcerated."

Do you have any job seeking experiences you'd like to share…either as the interviewer or the interviewee?

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