Sunday, September 30, 2012

7 Foods You Shouldn't Cook While Naked

I'm going to go out on a limb here and make the assumption that most of us don't cook while in the nude...in the buff...as naked as the proverbial jaybird. Now, I'm referring to actually standing at the stove and cooking rather than simply popping something into a microwave.

But (that's with only one T rather than a naked two Ts), that doesn't mean cooking in the nude is a bad thing. There are, however, certain foods and situations that would be better if the preparer were to wear something even if only a full chef's apron.

And why have I brought up this unlikely topic? Well...I came across an article recently that talked about 7 foods that shouldn't be cooked while the preparer is au naturel. So, without further fanfare, I present to you that list of 7 foods.

BACON
So obvious that it almost doesn't require a mention. Bacon sizzling in the skillet—it smells oh so good regardless of what you are pairing it with for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. But as we all know, bacon creates its own grease and all the sizzle is really popping hot grease projectiles. Definitely requires something to cover that bare skin.

JALAPEƑOS OR OTHER HOT PEPPERS
Burning hot seeds...unprotected body parts...need I say more? Well, yes—I probably do need to say more. If you are making guacamole while in the nude, you might want to rethink things. If you insist on squishing those avocados through your fingers as a sensual experience while in the nude, you might want to consider leaving out those seeds.

SEARING MEAT
Just as the word bacon conjures up an image, so does the word searing. Yes, we again picture the popping of the fat that's part of the meat. And we picture that hot grease landing on our bare skin in the most inappropriate places.

POTATO LATKES
Once again we're talking hot oil. It's tough to get that nice crispy exterior without it. Better do this one with that aforementioned full chef's apron.

DEEP FRIED TURKEY
A recent trend for Thanksgiving is to deep fry that turkey rather than putting it in the oven. As this is basically an outdoor activity, same as grilling those summer hamburgers, it's more common in warmer climates. Being outdoors in the nude at Thanksgiving is not a cold weather activity. But for those of you who do live in the warmer climes...there's that popping hot oil again.

WASABI
The concept of working with brown rice and raw fish might seem like a healthy endeavor. But, that super hot mustard is hot to more than the taste buds. There's the possibility of having it on your hands and then needing to scratch one of those unclothed places...

HOME MADE CARAMEL
You have a choice of sweet seduction or hot, smooth sexy. Either way, you risk physical damage when cooking with sugar while in the nude. We're talking serious spattering. Something that should not be exposed to your exposed places.

There are, of course, other foods that should also be kept at more than arm's length if cooking in the nude. These 7 seemed like the most interesting.

4 comments:

LisaRayns said...

haha. Too funny. Cute post!

Samantha Gentry said...

Lisa: Thanks, glad you enjoyed it.

Harlie Reader said...

Great post! :)

Marika

Samantha Gentry said...

Hi, Marika. Nice to see you. Glad you liked it! I had an interesting time visualizing as I was writing it. :)