Sunday, January 29, 2012

Men Who Are Irresistible To Women—How Do They Rate As Potential Mates?

As a writer of various forms of romance, I can take the type of man who is intriguing, interesting, exciting, even dangerous—the quintessential bad boy or flashy guy or brooding loner among several choices—and by the end of the book love has tamed the aspects of his personality that would make him a lousy choice as a mate. He has seen the light and realizes his life is not complete without the heroine, a realization that allows him to change and make an honest commitment to relationship.

But that's one of the joys of fiction. We can create accurate characters for specific personality types and situations, but have the availability of writing that hero the way we want him to be rather than portraying the reality for that type. We can create that growth and resolve the inner conflict so the hero can change over the course of the book.

But what about real life? How about those personality types that are seemingly irresistible to women? How do they stack up for a viable long term committed relationship?

The Flashy Guy
We've all seen the type—the hot new sports car, a Rolex watch. Women are naturally attracted, finding this type of man more desirable on the surface than the guy who drives a four year old economy car. But does that attraction equate to a healthy relationship? According to researchers, not really. According to their findings, while women are interested in dating this type of man they are not interested in settling down with them. The women surveyed said that men who were flashy spenders were only interested in no-strings-attached sex rather than a relationship. However, experts say it could be a sign that the man is suffering from low self-esteem and feels that a show of possessions could lure a potential mate. Bottom line: find out what's behind the flashy exterior before determining yea or nay to the possibility of a true relationship.

The Bad Boy
Through out history, bad boys have been attractive to women. The sense of danger and thrills that surrounds the bad boy pulls women into the high-energy excitement. But after a while, the newness wears off and you're left with a guy who possesses such traits as narcissism and callousness along with a high number of sex partners. Not very good qualities for a committed relationship. If his core personality is not that attractive or desirable, you should leave.

The Moody Dude
Canadian researchers did a study on why women go for the brooding type. Using photographs to determine the sexual attractiveness of the opposite sex, they found that men were attracted to smiling happy-looking women but women generally found the most attractive men to be the ones who appeared moody, proud, or powerful. Psychologists say these are usually women who don't believe they deserve a good person, especially women whose fathers were emotionally distant during childhood. They try to heal old wounds by seeking out relationships with similar type men hoping things will be different for them. Unfortunately, they usually aren't.

The Less Attractive Guy
For a healthy relationship, should a woman pass on the eye-candy and go for the less attractive man instead? Researchers from UCLA and the University of Tennessee found that women who are more attractive than their husbands have happier marriages. Research showed that in those cases, the man was generally more emotionally supportive of his wife. When the man was the better looking spouse, he was less supportive.

The Older Man
According to a Swedish study, women prefer to date older men. The study showed that the majority of women were seeking wealthy, accomplished, older partners. It also noted that older meant experienced, which could be sexy…on average the guy was wiser and richer. However, an American psychologist said she doubted the study could be applied to the American culture. It was possible, but unclear as to how it would apply.

The Class Clown
Many women find a good sense of humor to be a very desirable quality in a man. Why do women find humor attractive? A British study suggested that women believe men with a good sense of humor are more intelligent, therefore better providers. It has been suggested that humor has a positive effect on women's health because it helps de-escalate conflict, creating happy and healthy relationships.

These types make for good fiction, but how do you think they fare in real life?


Margaret Tanner said...

Hi Samantha,
Interesting blog. I love writing about the dark tortured heroes, but I wouldn't want to marry one.



Samantha Gentry said...

Margaret: Yes, that's the key. The characters we love to write aren't the ones we would want to spend the rest of our life with. We can manipulate them on the page, but not so easy in reality. :)

Thanks for your comment.