Sunday, December 11, 2011

10 Signs That The New Man In Your Life Might Be Married

First of all, I'm not stating that only married men cheat and not married women. Married women certainly engage in extra-marital affairs, too. Sometimes the cheater is having an affair with someone who is also married and sometimes the partner is single.

Unofficial surveys have shown that men seem to enjoy no-strings-attached affairs more than women and single men aren't nearly as offended as single women to discover that their new lover is married.

I came across an article a while back listing 10 signs indicating that a woman's new romance could be a married man. My first thought was to use it as backstory information for one of my characters who had a past affair with a man and didn't know he was married. Then I decided to share the information with you, too.

10) When with you, he pays for everything in cash.
In today's electronically controlled society, most people don't carry that much cash with them. If he pays for everything…restaurants, hotels, etc., in cash it could be his way of keeping his wife from finding a paper trail such as credit card receipts.

9) He can only spend time with you during a specified window after he gets off work.
If he continually places restrictions on when and where the two of you can be together, then he could be married (or dating someone else while dating you). No wife and no other girlfriends? Then no need to constantly be rushing home by 10PM because he has an early morning meeting. This also applies to never being able to see him on holidays.

8) He works as a traveling salesman, or a similar type job.
It's very easy for a married man working in a job that requires him to travel to have one or more girlfriends in different towns. It could take an unsuspecting woman quite a while to discover the man she has fallen in love with is really married.

7) He never invites you to his home.
There are two primary reasons for this: either his lives like a slob so that his residence looks like a garbage dump or he's married.

6) He won't answer his cell phone in front of you.
Taking calls while on a date is generally considered rude, but for him to never take a call while with you could be one more indication that he's married.

5) When you call his cell phone, you always get his voice mail then he returns your call.
As with number six above, this could be another indication that he's married.

4) He never introduces you to his children, friends or family.
Two main possibilities here. Either he just isn't very serious about you or he's married.

3) He says he's filed for divorce, but you can't find any record of the filing anywhere in the state.
This quite often happens after she becomes suspicious about his marital status and confront him. That's when he admits he's still technically married, but he and his wife are separated and he's filed for divorce but the two of you need to be careful until the divorce is final.

2) His wife calls you.
After getting over the shock of discovering your new romance is really married, explain to her that you did not know you had been seeing a married man, then call him and let him know you won't be seeing him again and why. There's always the remote possibility that she is his ex-wife and he no longer has any association with her but she's not ready to let go of the former relationship…but not likely.

1) You come home and find his clothes dumped on your porch.
This one should be self-explanatory.

Several years ago I used situation #2 in a book, with the storyline having hero's ex-wife confront the heroine pretending to be his wife in an attempt to get him back even though they had been divorced for ten years.


Nightingale said...

I'll keep these in mind! When I lived in Miami, I unknowingly dated a married man a couple of times. Boy was I angry when I found out. Never saw him again!

wlynnchantale said...

Interesting post. I'm filing it away just in case I need to use one or two myself.

Samantha Gentry said...

Nightingale: I had that happen to me, too. One date and I got a phone call from his wife. Really shocked me!

Thanks for stopping by.

Samantha Gentry said...

wlynnchantale: Yep, good material for a book. :)

Thanks for your comment.

Kenzie Michaels said...

Which book was that, Sam? I'd be interested in reading it:)

GREAT post!

Nona Raines said...

Excellent post A woman can't be too careful out there! A friend of mine had a date with a man who only gave her his work number. He also wanted, on their first date, how she felt about sex on the first date. He wasn't too pleased by her negative response. She saw him some time later out with his wife and children! Ouch! You think this stuff only happens in movies until it happens to you or someone you know!

Harlie Reader said...

I'm like Molly what is the name of the book? You have me totally intrigued. I love your posts. I always learn something new or have a good laugh on Sunday. Thank you. :)


Samantha Gentry said...

Kenzie: It's one of the Silhouette Desire books that Harlequin reissued in ebook
"Having The Best Man's Baby" by Shawna Delacorte (do search for Shawna Delacorte) also Amazon for Kindle or Barnes & Noble for Nook.

Samantha Gentry said...

Nona: Definitely a very real part of real life and probably happens much more often than most people think.

Thanks for stopping by.

Samantha Gentry said...

Marika: Thanks. I always look forward to your comments.

See my response to Kenzie for the book information.