Sunday, October 4, 2009

Things NOT To Say At A Job Interview

We all know that going on a job interview is cause for varying degrees of nervous tension. We're uncomfortable, very concerned about making a good impression both personally and with our resume and work history. Saying the wrong thing…misspeaking…is upper in our mind.

All of this discomfort is part of the process. But, there are those who go beyond the bounds of mere jittery nerves. The following comments were actually said during the course of a job interview.

Q: Why did you leave your last job?
A: "I have a problem with authority."

Q: Why should we hire you?
A: "I would be a great asset to the events team because I party all the time."

Q: Do you have any questions?
A: "Cross dressing isn't a problem, is it?"

Q: Why are you leaving your current job?
A: "I was fired from my last job because they were forcing me to attend anger management classes."

Q: Why do you want to work for us?
A: "My old boss didn't like me, so one day I just left and never came back. And here I am!"

Q: What are your weaknesses? [related to job skills]
A: "I get angry easily and I want to jail for domestic violence. But I won't get mad at you."

Q: When have you demonstrated leadership skills?
A: "Well my best example would be in the world of online video gaming. I pretty much run the show. It takes a lot to do that."

Q: Is there anything else I should know about you?
A: "You should probably know I mud wrestle on the weekends."

Q: When can you start?
A: "I need to check with my mom on that one."

Q: Have you submitted your two weeks' notice to your current employer?
A: "What is two weeks' notice? I've never quit a job before. I've always been fired."

The following are random responses and comments made by job seekers at interviews.

"If I get an offer, how long do I have before I have to take the drug test?"

"When you do background checks on candidates, do things like public drunkenness arrests come up?"

"May I have a cup of coffee? I think I may still be a little drunk from last night."

And finally…
[During a telephone call to schedule the interview] "Can we meet next month? I am currently incarcerated."

Most of those sound like they should be part of a "believe it or not" collection. :)
Do you have any job seeking experiences you'd like to share…either as the interviewer or the interviewee?


Paris said...

OMG! LOL! I can't top any of these. Thanks for the chuckle;-)

Samantha Gentry said...

Paris: You're welcome! Just keep shaking my head and wondering who these people are. :)

Keena Kincaid said...

I once interviewed a woman for a PR position with our agency. Within 10 minutes, she said she didn't like making pitch calls (who does?), wouldn't work late because she had children at home, and wasn't a very good writer. I was a bit shocked, but said I was glad she was being upfront with us. To give her the benefit of the doubt, I assume she didn't want the job (just wanted to continue collecting unemployment). But I'm not so sure.

Lynne Roberts said...

LOL. I used to do interviews and I can't top a single one of these. Thanks for the chuckle.

J Hali said...

OMG, how funny (but awful!) I interviewed a lady once who told me she couldn't work Thursdays or Fridays because she had to be home to do hair for her friends!

Samantha Gentry said...

Keena: Just needing to show that she interviewed so she could meet the requirements to continue her unemployment sounds like a good assessment of the situation. If she was seriously job hunting, then she sure needed to sharpen those interview skills. :)

Samantha Gentry said...

Lynne: It sure boggles the mind, doesn't it?

Samantha Gentry said...

J Hali: That's funny ... I wonder how long it took her to find a job. Assuming she actually found one that met her requirements. :)

s7anna said...

OMG!!! These are hilarious!!! I can't believe that people actually said these things during interviews!!! Holy Moly!!! Thanks for the humour first thing in the morning!!! There is no freakin' way I can top any one of these!!!

Happy Reading!!!
Anna Shah Hoque

Samantha Gentry said...

Anna: Sometimes truth really is more interesting than fiction! :)

P.L. Parker said...

How funny! I loved them.

Samantha Gentry said...

P.L.: I got a real chuckle out of them, too. Had to share. I strongly suspect that every one of those people are still unemployed. :)