Saturday, July 23, 2011

Words Of Wisdom From T-Shirts

For the most part, T-shirts seem to have a lot to say. They tell us where their owner went on vacation, what school he or she attended, what kind of car they drive, where they work, what organizations they belong to, what causes they support, and a multitude of other miscellaneous information. Some are serious and others are just fun. I've collected several interesting T-shirt sayings and I'd like to share them with you.

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.

Everyone has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another glass of wine.

I love to cook with wine. Sometimes I even use it in the food.

Hand over the chocolate and no one will get hurt.

At what age am I old enough to know better?

I before E except after C … weird?

National Sarcasm Society … like we need your support.

If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research.

If I'm talking, you should be taking notes.

Why can't I be rich instead of good looking?

To err is human, to arrrrrgh is pirate.

Searching for the meaning of life, but will settle for my car keys.

Paddle faster, I hear banjo music!

I'm often confused with my evil twin.

Flying is the 2nd greatest thrill known to man. Landing is the 1st.

I'd be a vegetarian if bacon grew on trees.

Awww, another Whiners Club meeting already?

Disheveled…not just a look, it's a lifestyle.

I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.

I'm confused…wait, maybe I'm not.

Sarcasm. Just one more service I provide.

Where's the switch that turns you off?

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Deja Moo…the feeling you've heard this bullshit before.

Don't worry about what people think. They don't do it very often.

Everything I say can be fully substantiated by my own opinion.

I am the Grammariam about whom your mother warned you.

Ending a sentence with a preposition? That is something up with which I shall not put.

I'm always late. My ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.

There. Their. They're not the same.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Old age comes at an inconvenient time.

Irony. The opposite of wrinkly.

And finally, seen on a Harley Davidson T-shirt: You won't see a motorcycle parked in front of psychiatrist's office.

Have any of you come across any fun or interesting T-shirt sayings you'd like to share?


Anonymous said...

Hi Samantha..

Two of my Favourites are...

'By the way, your village called - they want their idiot back.'


'Light travels faster than sound - which is why some people appear bright until they speak..'

Great blog!



Samantha Gentry said...

Erin: Those are good ones! Thanks for sharing.

Unknown said...

What a wonderful way to start my morning,, thanks :)

Samantha Gentry said...

Unkknown: Thanks--glad you enjoyed them.

Nightingale said...

Loved the post. Had a good laugh. There were two I've seen I laughed aloud about. "Grow your own dope; bury a man." and "I tried to contain myself but I escaped."

Bianca Swan

Vonnie Davis said...

Love your post! It brought back a memory probably 30+ years old. The kids and I were in the car, coming home from a friend's house. My son was around 10 and he's speaking from the back seat.

"Mom, Deena's husband has a t-shirt on with 2 pigs, one on top of the other, and underneath it said, 'Makin' bacon.' Were those pigs having sex?"

My eyes slid to the rear view mirror. I did NOT want to have this conversation in the car. "Yes."

"See, that's what worries me. 'Cause if that's how I hafta do it, I'm gonna be in trouble, my peeper will never reach."

"Don't worry hon, it'll grow."

He leaned over my shoulder. "Really? How?"

Ah, thinks I, a teachable moment. Honesty must prevail..."Well, eating green beans and peas helps them grow."

He flopped back against his seat. "Awl, man! Green beans AND peas?"


He reminded me of that conversation a few months ago. "You had me eating green beans and peas like a madman...and it never worked."

"I'll say!" quipped his wife. Don't 'cha love a smart woman???

Jennifer Jakes said...

OMG-Vonnie! That story is HILARIOUS!!
As for T-shirts, I saw one for motorcycle riders. I have a wrapped sense of humor so nobody else may think it's funny but... On the back of a guy's shirt: If you're reading this, the b**ch fell off.
And another one: I live at Bite Me Blvd. & No Freakin' Way.

Samantha Gentry said...

Bianca: Another couple of good ones. Thanks.

Samantha Gentry said...

Vonnie: LOL...great story! As you said, honesty must prevail.

Samantha Gentry said...

Jennifer: Love that...the corner of Bite Me and No Freakin' Way. Thanks for sharing.

J Q Rose said...

I giggled a LOT at the post and at the comments. Thanks for the laughs. May I use some of these on a blog posting? So clever...!!

Samantha Gentry said...

JQ Rose: Thanks, glad you enjoyed them. The ones in my post were gathered from real T-shirts, so they don't actually belong to me. :)

Caroline Clemmons said...

Samantha, I love these. I hadn't heard some of them, and loved Vonnie's story. Kids!

I hope you'll let me use them also.

I also loved your blog on getting rid of flies.

Samantha Gentry said...

Caroline: Thanks. As I said, the sayings came from T-shirts so I don't have any claim to them. :)